The Verb, Write

The Verb, Write

Author’s Note: This piece was originally written during my Senior Year of college.

The Right to Write

The first letter I deliberately wrote to myself was immediately after my first heartbreak in college.  Since the only person who could understand was the very person I wanted to disappear, I thought to myself: No more abstract thinking, let’s try brutal honesty instead.  No more shortcuts, let’s put it all out there.  On paper.

Dear Tayzau,

Here’s what really happened…

The Rite to Write

It took me about a year of writing before I could admit to all of the pain I was feeling.  It took me much longer to address the shame and acknowledge the influence that past and future individuals would have on my life.

For about a year or so, I wrote about the same topic: Loss.

I fantasized, criticized, and commented on everything I observed.  I poked holes in my fears about losing my value… losing family members… losing “great” friends… losing my compassion…

Mortality is such a sobering topic.

I created a Wedding List, which was a list of all of the people I would invite to my hypothetical wedding at that very moment in my life.  Who would I spend $100/plate on?  Who did I want by my side on the “happiest day of my life”?

This exercise pared down my friend list quite a bit.

Dear Tayzau,

You can let go…

Write to Write

Eventually, I transitioned to sharing my thoughts on this blog. Moving my writing from paper to the Internet blog world made me wonder: Do I deserve to share my words in such a public way?  Larry thought so, and quite a few others. I’m really glad I have this little virtual space for Tayzau because this is so much fun and cathartic.

I am now able to write just to write.  I write because playing around with different combinations of words can be so powerful.  I write because I want to improve how I articulate my thoughts.  I write for my own clarity, for a peace of mind.  I wrote in hopes of provoking the reader to question what I have written… perhaps they will even ask for more of the story.

Dear Tayzau,

You can apply your IE efficiency and effectiveness to writing too 😉

Write About What?

Now with every post that I write, I recall the iconic bench scene in Boston Public Garden from Goodwill Hunting.

Before clicking the “Publish” button, I revisit what Robin Williams’ character said on that bench:

Does that encapsulate you? Personally… I don’t give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can’t learn anything from you, I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that do you sport? You’re terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief. – Goodwill Hunting

No matter what kind of writing I am trying to create…  My writing should always encapsulate the essence of Tayzau.

Let’s keep this simple.  It is, and should always be, as uncomplicated as that.

Sunset in the Okavengo Delta, Botswana