Answering Morgan Harper Nichol’s Journal Prompts for the End of 2021

January 3, 2022

My dear friend, N, shared Morgan Harper Nichol’s “Journal Prompts for the End of the Year.” (https://www.instagram.com/p/CYHiKoEo3Jc/). This year, we have both found small moments of comfort in Morgan’s artwork and her poetry.

I’m sharing my responses to these journal prompts, because I don’t want to forget 1) How far I’ve come and 2) That I should be oh so proud of my growth and resilience in 2021.

If you feel so inclined, I encourage you to journal about these 10 prompts and see how far you’ve come too. 🙂

Here we go…

Table of Contents

What did 2021 teach you?

Feelings are like water. Some days there are large swells. A crushing wave. Unexpected rain storms. Soft drizzles. Other times, it’s peaceful. Nostalgic. Gentle. Warm. It’s so cyclical and seemingly random.

This year, life felt really complicated and messy.

And yet, sometimes, it felt quite simple.

What if I let go? And focused on abundance, peace, and ease?

Also, I like Riesling wines a lot. LOL.

Who did you talk to the most this year and what did you learn from them?

V. Through him, over the past few years, I realized that I am worthy of love and of great things. Looking back, I have realized that for the past few years, I’ve been in this deceptive slump / depression. He reminded me of my spark and to pursue my dreams. I became interested (ok, sometimes obsessed) in things and people and learning again. I remembered my awesomeness. I took risks. I practiced being more vulnerable.

V taught me that in time, I would gain clarity. So now, whenever I am unsure, I give myself permission to take a breath and give myself the space and time I need to gain clarity. In many ways, this has been the year of learning the lessons of patience… over and over again.

I wouldn’t have gotten here without him — Or let’s just say, that V was an integral part in shaping the person that I am today (cue Wicked’s “For Good” song haha).

What did you learn about love this year?

We all desire it. We all wish to be seen, loved, held, touched, affirmed, heard, and held deeply. It’s OK to desire this! Of course you do! You are human.

Recently, I saw Waitress, the musical, for the second time with my friend. I was reminded of how love manifests in different forms, and all of these different types of love are valid. My favorite part of the musical is the song “You Matter to Me,” which is sung by Jenna and Dr. Pomatter:

“Dear baby, I hope someday
Somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight
They don’t pull away, they don’t look at your face
And they don’t try to kiss you
All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight
Without an ounce of selfishness in it
I hope you become addicted, baby
I hope you become addicted to sayin’ things
Having them matter to someone”

This year, especially in the latter half, I felt more comfortable with the idea that love doesn’t have to last a bazillion decades to be valid. It doesn’t have to be socially acceptable to be meaningful. I realized that love doesn’t need to ONLY exist in a ‘serious relationship container’.

Love is too precious and abundant to only exist in one form. If it’s special and genuine for you, then it is.

As an added unexpected bonus, at the end of the year, I found qualities I thought that could only exist in a deep, committed relationship — stuff like trust, respect, abundance, ease, joy, laughter, reciprocation, support — in something else.

Ah, serendipity. I am grateful to know there is another way.

I’m more curious than ever.

What’s the biggest change that happened in your life this year?

Well, actually, there’s been a lot of change this year.

In January 2021, I applied to business school. In March, I was accepted to several schools and ultimately decided to go to Yale. I found a studio, which magically matched the vision I had for where I wanted to live (!!). I began living on my own for the first time in my life.

I set and enforced boundaries with people in my life.

I found myself holding space for multiple feelings at once, and oftentimes, giving myself permission to rest and take it easy. This was huge for me.

During my first semester of business school, I constantly sought rest, peace, and connection. I chose to pursue activities and people that felt authentic to me. I let go of the shiny jobs, people, and activities that everyone talked about, but I did not truly want. It was tiring to be immersed in such an intense environment. I’m really proud of myself.

And lastly, the dissonance between my perceived self and actual self is slowly closing… I think. Therapy has been an integral part of this healing and growth.

Describe a photo or a video you took this year that is special to you.

There’s a picture of my mom, my uncle, and me sitting next to a statue of Handsome Dan, the Yale mascot, in New Haven, Connecticut. We look so happy. This journey has been very special and this picture was one of those ‘oh shit’ moments.

I really did this.

Make a list of your favorite songs, books, and movies or shows from the year and what you liked about them

This was the year of peaceful vibes, acoustic songs, and finding joy in playing my guitar again.

My favorite artists have been Kina Grannis and Gabrielle Aplin. I love that I can listen to their albums on shuffle without worry about skipping songs. They’ve carried me through many seasons of life for many years, and especially 2021.

List 10 things you are grateful for.

My health – my elbow! My overall health.
My resilience
My plants – I’ve accumulated so many plants!
Meeting new people and making new friends and expanding my horizons of what is possible
My old bike
My studio
My new iPhone – switching from Android to iOS has been… life changing
Realizing that my world IS abundant and that I have so much and that I’m so luck and that I’m OK, already
Swimming
My driven, ambitious, tenacious, responsible, fairly serious, focused self

How can you practice peace in this new year?

Recognize looping thoughts and make small decisions (one at a time) to stop the looping
Move my body more. Sweat more!
Trust myself and my intuition
Enjoy my company
Let myself go through an anxiety attack if/when it happens again

How are you feeling?

Anxious
Nothing
Hungry
I think I am less depressed than I was in 2020. I am definitely MORE anxious, but not in a bad way. More so in a, “Wow, I’m gaining so much awareness at once and I’m a bit whelmed by all of the revelations and emotions.” Thankfully I’m learning how to process and cope with therapy and support systems.
Lonely
Confused
Shocked — I am a bit shocked that it’s finally the end of the year. Look how far we’ve come. How much has changed. How little has changed.

What are you looking forward to?

Exploring and reclaiming areas of shame, especially from my childhood
Acknowledging that we are all imperfect and layered human beings
Finding new understanding and a balance of what it means to be in relationship with people who are imperfect and fallible
Continuing to grow and evolve, even if it means I may change and move away from where I currently am and who is currently in my life
Standing firm in myself, with myself — getting less swayed by other people/opinions
Breathing through anxiety
Stepping into my power
Creating more
Taking up more space
Attracting love and abundance
Pursuing people I’m interested in
Loving deeply and fearlessly despite my fear
Being fearless
Being vulnerable, sharing my heart with others, and falling in love, over and over again
Continuing to become my most authentic self – this feels the most important

And lastly… here are some of my favorite phrases from the year:

Look how far you’ve come
Every action is an act of love or a cry for love
Be gentle
Show yourself grace